A thought just now...

It really hurts to realize that you have little attachment to people in reality...

It made me see why I am so attached to fantasy..or maybe it's because I'm too attached to fantasy that I have little attachment to reality...

It makes me feel that all of my efforts to actually be social is for naught. Yes, it's hard and rather awkward to be a part of a circle who hanged out for over a year without you.

I guess I'll have to just make do with what I have. Like always. One of the roots of my insecurities...I'm having a hard time forming successful relationships with others.

Am I really that eccentric? To the point where I repel others?

Virgilia Hat

Character: Virgilia

Series: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni

Part of Costume: Hat

I made this for a friend [*ehem]...I just used some Felon and different kinds of fabric. Total time to finish this is 7 hours. The hardest part was forming the shape of the hat. Since this is the first time I've made one, I was sort of trying different techniques.

This Rose was really tricky. I ended up doing whatever with it. As you can see from the picture above, I didn't do it like this one here [left]. I thought  it would just cost me more time. I calculated it wrong. I should have just made it like this one. I had a lot of free time afterwards. One past time is this blog~ :P

OR Experience

After resting for a full day, I'm now back on my toes to blog how I've been during our rotation in the OR.

One word.

LEGEN...wait for it...DARY! [from Barney Stinson of HIMYM]

It's really fun to do something you like. You won't mind the stress...all the bashing...humiliation. It's all fun fun fun. I can't wait to witness and assist in more cases.

remembrance from the OR when a nurse accidentally injured me..no biggie.. XP

OR DAY 1:

This was mainly just orientation. My CI complemented how I look and said I would have looked even more beautiful if I don't wear my glasses. :P Well, whatever. I get that a lot. The first operation we got to observe was an appendectomy [removal of an inflamed appendix]. They were actually playing some music during the operation. I was surprised to see they still have the time to dance around while handling a patient.

We were sent home early to be able to get ready for the next day, the time we were able to scrub in for an operation.

OR DAY 2:

I finally got to experience first hand how it is inside the operating room. At first, I observed my other classmates' cases and then waited for my turn. It seems like so much fun.

While waiting, my instructor was kidding around with me. No, I'm being too modest using kidding to describe that torture. Anyway, at least he doesn't go and intimidate his students to the point when you can no longer function effectively.

After some time I finally had a case. My patient was a 2-year old baby. He needed tracheotomy tube replacement. I wanted to put him at ease so bad because it looked like he was really suffering with that tube. 

I met with really beautiful and kind surgeons on duty. They even bothered to talk to me not like the other doctors who would just brush you off even if you greet them in the hall.

It was a scary yet exciting case. I'm just glad we were able to finish it without any complications. I hope that child is all right now.

This was also the day I was able to see an amputated leg. COOL.

OR DAY 3: 

Well, I wasn't able to assist in any operation this day but I was a circulator for everyone. LOL.

OR DAY 4:

Our last day...TT_TT

It was so memorable...

1. My scrub instructor was a cutie~ XDD 

2. It was my first major operation.

3. I didn't expect my patient's case to be that severe already.

4. I was able to assist properly during the operation.

5. I found out I needed a bit of tension before I could straighten myself to do things seriously. :P

6. I still don't know why is it that every time I see an organ or just in the middle of an operation, I GET HUNGRY. OTL

7. There was a cute intern who is soooo skilled.

8. The nurses and the cutie scrub nurse found out I also cosplay... O////O

9. My friend and I were referred to as "orientals". It's obvious in my friend but I still don't know why I got into that category.

10. I was able to talk and be a bit closer to my patient. I was able to let him do the talking without me asking anything. I felt the need to help him. I think my desire to advance in the medical/health profession has grown yet again. :)