Friday, May 3, 2013

Hikikomori Mode Problems

Soo...lately, I've done nothing but stay at home and live my unemployed life. I wake up, take a bath, eat, go online, read/review, watch some shows, eat, every other day goes to the hospital, eat, go online, read/review, watch some shows, take a bath, sleep, and the cycle just repeats. And this way of living is slowly eating away my stability.

A lot of factors are at play with how I'm feeling right now...including the following:

  • The fact that I'm broke...and the family's in a kind of financial pinch
  • I don't have enough funds for formal reviews, and for my completion too
  • I haven't heard/seen most of my closest friends in weeks
  • I'm craving to shop but can't
  • I'm getting fatter
  • The only time I got out of the house is when people treated me
  • It's no fun playing kinect alone
  • I don't know how to deal with kids so I'm not that close to my baby cousins
  • There are a lot of negative talks and feelings about my grandpa being at the hospital
  • There are times when tension is present between me and my siblings
  • I feel really dumb with my results as I go about my self-review
  • I can't release most of my emotions to anyone
  • My bank account is in fall season
  • I'm selling stuff but people won't buy any
  • My self-esteem is plummeting...
  • I'm in my inferiority complex part of my superiority-inferiority cycle
  • I feel jealous of people who already got jobs/ able to get hired
  • The companies I've applied to did not even send me a rejection reply
  • I've got no kiddie show to cheer me up
  • My art sucks
  • I'm just a total mess...hahahahahahahahaha ;A;
Yeah, this is why this blog really contains random stuff...Some rants here and there but hey, this is me, my life, and I record my feelings here. Don't take away my only outlet of these emotions right now when I couldn't confide in others about this. They would probably get tired of me saying these over and over from time and time again.


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