Sunday, February 20, 2011

Suddenly I think...

I really hate it when I get bored. When I'm bored, I tend to think about a lot of things. There are different probabilities, theories, curiosities, and questions going on in my little head. Also at these times, I tend to see things I often just neglect and set aside.

Like accepting that I am not one of those who belong in the upper class of society;

that I do not have the luxury of attending every social gathering going on around the city;

that I am not privileged enough to meet important people and actually establish a connection with them;

that I am but of the lower class, blessed only with skills I need to hone, knowledge I need to expand, and talents that I need to develop.

A feeble person who has not every time in the world to do everything she wants to do.

 Just a person who needs to suppress desires over things of beauty.

A girl who has to strive like how a wee animal works to suffice her selfishness, her goals, her dreams, her thirst for those things the wealthy are given.

Yet her mind remains focus not only on material things but for that one intangible matter she has yet to have or even at least peeked upon.

This thought sprung into my head when I saw that one of my clothes had a hole in it after a wash. I really liked it because it was one of the few items I'm proud of buying because it's really versatile and now it has an effing hole. It is just kind of a waste. I mean, I spent my savings on it and then after one use, it already got a defect. During that same day, I decided to arrange all of my clothes since summer is already near. I realized I really don't have many worthy pieces in my pile. Most of it are collared shirts. I don't have many usable accessories to match my outfits. I don't have shoes that does not look worn out. To cut it short, I don't even have the necessities I need to survive this stage of my social life. Just because we don't have enough budget for it. I even need to pay for my own equipments in school like my own stethoscope and sphygmomanometer.

Yes, I tend to be like this when I get bored. This is just one of many things I tend to think in the middle of boredom. I do not know if there is anything wrong with me but these just randomly pops out into my mind. Probably because I am a girl of few words when not stressed. LOL

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